Reasons Why People Might Hate Nickelback So Much

1. “There’s no risk in hating Nickelback, and hating something always feels better than feeling nothing at all.”

2. While on tour in Germany, the band once paid their drum tech about 600 deutschmarks to stick his penis into a swirling fan with metal blades.

3. “Hating Nickelback is a lifestyle choice. It’s like being against Crocs, Microsoft, or the French.”

4. Asked if he’d rather have critical acclaim than his mainstream riches, Chad responded: “No. Well, I don’t know. [Long pause.] The only thing I really wonder about is what it would’ve been like if I had cut my hair ten years ago.”

5. Chad’s evolving hair.

6. “They exemplify much of what is wrong with music.”

7. To get the audience revved during a concert at Madison Square Garden, Chad yelled into the microphone: “Come on, ladies. Let’s pretend you’re 13 fucking years old at a Justin fucking Bieber concert.”

8. #chavril.

9. Chad’s understanding of how the music industry relates to art:

I always thought it was strange when these artists like Kurt Cobain or whoever would get really famous and say, ‘I don’t understand why this is happening to me. I don’t understand! Oh, the fame, the fame, the fame!’ There is a mathematical formula to why you got famous. It isn’t some magical thing that just started happening. And it’s going to move exponentially throughout your career as you grow, or can decline exponentially if you start to fail as an artist.

10. Chad is fine with his band being deemed the McDonald’s of rock: “Yeah, man, I’ll take that title. The McDonald’s of rock. I like it.”

11. In an interview with Playboy, Chad described himself as a “walking penis.”

12. This picture, which may or may not be fake. (Probably fake.)

13. Some of their songs sound identical.

14. “When asked to take pictures with fans, Kroeger will don aviators and strike the same pose nearly every time: one arm around the subject, the other half-raised in a fist with devil horns.”

15. “They have applied 100 percent corporate efficiency to rock ’n’ roll.”

16. “Right now it’s become trendy to hate Nickelback, and no one even knows why.”

17. They are very, very rich.

18. It’s tautological: “They hate them because they hate them. Sometimes it’s fun to hate things arbitrarily, and Nickelback has become an acceptable thing to hate.”

19. They made this video.

20. “Because we’re not hipsters,” said Chad.

21. People are hypocrites, as illustrated by this anecdote Chad once told:

The best story I’ve heard having to do with my band and the perception of it, this guy came up to Daniel (Adair), our drummer. Daniel was just finishing up on the treadmill at a hotel gym. We had a show later that night, and the guy said to him, “Can I ask you a question? You’re the drummer for Nickelback, right?” And Daniel says, “Yeah.” And the guy goes, “I just want to preface this by saying I’m a fan of your band and I have all of your CDs and I will be coming to your show tonight. Can you tell me why ten of my closest friends say they hate your band. I know for a fact that eight of them have tickets for your show tonight, and six of them have bought your last three CDs. But they all claim to hate your band.

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Paul Hiebert is the Editor of Ballast.